Jul. 26th, 2015 12:00 am
jinian: (FHL cockles)
Roommate left. I left her a note and cleared out, since she had pretty obviously wanted the room to herself for packing up.

Chilled out before dinner, then went and ate a lobster. I sustained only one minor injury and got lots of food out of it. I remain fine with lobster in a way where you can have most of it and I will eat this clam chowder. (The chowder was great, the corn on the cob was terrible.)

Talked to several live humans and sang the Amphioxus song. One of the pictures on the wall is Gertrude Stein! The description of which person in that photo she is is ambiguous. Met a person who is my research cousin -- Ph.D. advisor's former postdoc's student, but we're both doing completely different things now. She is going to an Edward Gorey museum tomorrow and will tell me the results. (I have no plans with any humans tomorrow and am EXTREMELY PLEASED about that.) Another person told me where the bioluminescence is supposed to be best observed, and exhibited the scrapes he had gotten failing to see it.

I am better at clambering than he is. I saw the ctenophores! I was expecting more of a gentle glow, but they flash like tiny lightnings in the water between the blocks of the jetty. I splashed at them a few times and got them to blink, but then some waves arrived and they developed a whole storm, shallow and deeper and semi-periodic, very beautiful.

(Also thank god for privacy and Mad Max poly femmeslash.)

What with the lobster party, I did not manage to get any food from the dining hall to squirrel away in case I need to eat before brunch at ten, but I can find something if I have to. Maybe I will be able to sleep late! Unlikely but possible!


Jun. 24th, 2015 11:03 pm
jinian: (c'est la vie)
Getting work done at work this week.

Good appointment with therapist Monday. After which I went somewhere I hadn't been before, got a Ms. Marvel trade and Squirrel Girl #4 and ate frozen yogurt, and eventually managed to find Good Vibrations. Treating myself and also being a quality person who does things in the world.

Hurt my neck as a direct result of GV visit and woke up with nasty headache. Unsure of cost-benefit here as both make strong cases.

Had an adventure with [personal profile] rushthatspeaks. After being confused by inferior maps and displeased with the hot soupy weather, we did find our rose-garden goal, and then there was a convenient and free train, and ice cream for dinner. Then showering. I remain very grateful for such an excellent partner and also for the central air at my apartment.

Getting real work done really, like, I did PCR today and ran it on a gel and all. Still working out some damnfool crap from my botched reappointment, but mostly doing well right now.

Spate of fun hectic planning on dragon game, unfortunately spurred by bad news of cool people leaving our subgroup. But I drew a trout with which I am pleased.

jinian: (FHL cockles)
So my doctor and the reproductive radiologist (what a great specialty) are pretty sure that the masses the ultrasound shows on both ovaries are endometriomas. The bigger one is making my ovary 7cm long, which is much bigger than an ovary should be. And it's on the more painful side. Finally a mild observable correlation with my actual problems!

I also have one small and two minuscule fibroids in the uterine wall; these I think are probably not contributing much to my pain as they were not there five years ago and my periods are actually better managed now than they were then. They will probably get worse with time until menopause, though, and could be problematic in future. Mom had a giant one removed at about my age.

So basically, laparoscopic surgery to solidly diagnose the endo is definitely recommended, and they would remove any badness they see while they're in there. The doctor confirmed that there is no way to see bits of rogue endometrium that might be causing adhesions using imaging techniques, and you just have to go look around in there. I was about ready to do that for just the amount of pain I've been having, so I am totally on board with that.

Since I have never wanted to be pregnant, I am pretty much decided on having my uterus out at the same time. The doc is good with this. It is a faulty uterus that makes me very miserable, it's likely to get even worse with time, and I'm not using it. Sliiiightly on the fence about taking out an entire organ, but it's an organ that's been misbehaving for 25 years, and if this really is endometriosis then removing a possible source of MORE jerkass wandering cells is a really good idea. Also pretty sure that the period I am about to start will remind me of why I do not want it!

Somehow I have chosen to draw the TMI veil over only this part. )

I asked about sexual function and her response was pretty much, "most people find that not being in pain makes them better able to enjoy sex." WHICH SEEMS LEGIT. And having a built-in vagina means I wouldn't need to use dilators or anything the way people with constructed vaginas do, it's all good even if the uterus isn't in there to anchor the other end. She and I are totally agreed on keeping as much of my ovaries as they can rescue from the masses on them, as bones are important and I like my sex hormones generally.

This is actually pretty much the optimal outcome considering my pain situation, which is quite bad! And it was nice to surprise the doc by being happy and excited that she found something, which is not the usual reaction. So I'll talk about it with my boss tomorrow -- the recommended recovery period for surgery is two weeks and I want to keep him up to date since we talked recently about how things were pretty bad and affecting my performance. Within a few days the surgery scheduler should call me to set up various pre-, operative, and post- appointments.

I am still pretty darn happy with this whole development. Little scary, still the tiny possibility that it's something more serious, but overall? Fucking YAY they found THINGS they can DO something about.
jinian: chibi Hana from 7 Seeds working hard! (hana stivver)
1. Smut Peddler 2014 is ouuuuuuuut! ♥ I may have read some of it at work and then been physically and socially uncomfortable as a result.

2. Racing game reunion today! Got to swap gossip with some people I haven't talked to in a quite a while, though we were still missing a few. Must make time to hang out there occasionally.

3. Hair re-pinked! (Bleaching pretty patchy, though. Need much better mirror skills if I am to bleach the back of my own head.)

4. The large bookshelf is attached to the wall, because I am smart and persistent. I figured out how to put it together, which was a learning process but totally worked, and then worked out a scheme to get the new stabilizing boards screwed into drywall anchors. Didn't work the first time because my screws were too short to account for the space between the wall and the shelf, oops, so I got two other sizes today and the one I thought would work did. Small one will be easy-peasy, and then books can be unpacked.

5. I get to see [personal profile] rushthatspeaks and J tomorrow.

good things

May. 5th, 2014 11:39 pm
jinian: (birdsquee)
1. Awesomely wrestled my latex mattress and futon in an effort to sell the latter. Collected actual dollars for the loft bed!

2. Ran into my least schedulable committee member, who was soooo excited to hear about my new position and gave me a bunch of Boston advice.

3. Such the cutest Oh Joy Sex Toy!

4. One of my rotation advisors was elected to the National Academy of Sciences, and I got to talk with him at the reception today. I haven't seen nearly enough of him lately because of his poor health, and it was so good to get to chat about his recent work. It's rather closely related to my soon-to-be work, though, so I hope we can talk more again soon!

5. Told PI and my landlord that I am outa here at the end of the month. Booked a storage pod thing (against terrible customer service doom). Go me!

6. Wim understood completely when I made a gesture representing axolotl gills flapping in the wind while riding in a motorcycle sidecar. Then we watched a stop-motion octopus do violence to the San Francisco waterfront.
jinian: (learning kyo)
1. Slept much better than I have lately after discussing self-soothing strategies and taking a bath (for which I cleverly rigged lighting so I could read Year of the Griffin in the tub despite my terrible bathroom configuration).

2. I do not understand how this happened, but this happened:

[image of a huge mechanical crane with its front wheels entirely off the ground]

3. Rainbowgrads is updating their constitution. I am so happy that my little organization is still holding together and doing things!

4. Cracked myself up with my own reaction to these vaginal fingering techniques when I got to "Cervix Clock" -- I made a terrible face, squirmed, thought "ewww noooo", and actually crossed my legs. (This undermines all my grand pronouncements about having a reaction-filter pretty thoroughly, doesn't it?) Some of the others were just like "who came up with THAT?" and the cumulative effect of the whole strangely creative and specific page had me crying with suppressed laughter (because of course I was reading this at work).

5. More crying at work, courtesy of Greg Rucka. "I am the father of a daughter, and she is my light, and she shines, and I want for her every-fucking-thing she desires, and I want those things for her earned, not given; I want for her the reward of effort. I want for her inclusion. I want for her validation. I want for her a world that recognizes her worth as a human being." YES. That fiercest love. (Emphasis mine.)
jinian: (c'est la vie)
1. I wore humorous earrings and a fabulous manicure.

2. One of the new t-shirt designs for my department is the Central Dogema of Molecular Biology (such gene -> many protein, etc.). The Sanger sequencing in the shape of a heart is pretty cute too.

3. Out-of-control libido may be inconvenient at times, but it can also lead to major fun.

4. I was mighty and did yard work and indoor chores!

5. The NSF regretted to inform me etc. This was frustrating (they didn't understand my proposal properly! they had fatuous suggestions!) but also I am DONE WAITING and can move on now.
jinian: (ayame sex)
Sometimes, video games work as training for things we actually do in life. It's pretty well known by now that certain games can improve spatial reasoning ability, presumably by providing practice. (Some video games have been inimical to spatial reasoning, though I think not so much the newer ones -- I've always been good at spatial stuff, and early-90s FPS set me against the entire genre forever by regularly putting walls in front of my face for no apparent reason.) Unfortunately, relationships are one of the ways video games fail badly at training people. As much as I'm enjoying having visual novels and otome games in English these days, they support the Kindness Coin approach to humans. (Usually, these humans are women, though for instance Bioware is at least expanding that to include people of all genders and species. Hooray?)

Luxuria Superbia doesn't fail.

Luxuria Superbia is a game about having sex. (It's not at all about getting to the point of having sex, so it skips the reductive game-relationship dilemma.) Your willing partners are flowers: beautiful, soothing, endless corolla tubes that you're flying into forever. They gain in complexity and differ in response as you go, adding more ranks in which stimulatory buds can appear, so that it's harder to keep up -- plus, you have to pay attention to which flower you're with and which stage of the process you're in if you want to fondle them appropriately. The idea is to touch the buds to bring color to the flower, which starts out white. If you overstimulate it, though, the stage will finish with the flower unsatisfied, and instead of gratitude, praise, and a heart graphic you'll get a kind deflection and a little thundercloud. I got a heart with an arrow through it at one point, but I'm not sure how. Pretty sure it was a good thing!

When touched, the buds pop open to reveal different images for each flower, presumably things that the particular flower enjoys. I wasn't at all sure about the sexiness of weird eyes opening to stare at me, and the hats seemed a little random, but the popups give an idea of each flower's personality, as do the things they say. Yes, the flowers talk to you if you're doing well. Their suggestive phrases are great: sometimes surreal, sometimes a little off-putting, mostly funny. My favorite is probably "Defragment my memory," but there are so many options in so many metaphorical ranges that the innuendo is really worth the price of admission all by itself.

To me it's really interesting that you're having sex with multiple flowers. For the overly literal like myself, this seems like multiple partners -- though, of course, it's also hard to sell a game with just one level. But it's also true that every flower could be a different sexual experience with the same variably-responsive person (for instance if that person has a menstrual cycle!), and that is also very cool.

The game developers say they wanted to make a game that reflects the experience of joy, and they did a good job. Plus, in the way of games, it can build skills that you want to use later: the observation of response, the varieties of touch, the amusing innuendo, the politeness, are all very useful parts of a real-life sexual repertoire.

Obviously there aren't a bunch of little buds all over humans, and you don't fly infinitely into anyone's vagina. But you get what I'm saying.

People who want to play a dreamy game about patience, attention, and careful-to-intense touch depending on response (and their current goals) are probably going to be pretty good lovers anyway. But I am imagining not letting a teenager out of that barrel he's nailed into until the game's temple is beautifully illuminated, and, you know, I like the idea.

Luxuria Superbia is available for a variety of platforms, with improved graphics for the computer versions, but I honestly can't imagine the sensuality coming across without the tablet interface. The ability to touch more than one place at the same time in an intuitive way is necessary. Unfortunately I wasn't able to turn off all the interface gestures on the newest iPad OS, so once in a while I'd get an intrusive arrow at the side and have to try to make that go away, even after turning off all multifinger gestures. I've also had a few slowing and jittering issues with the game, occasionally to the point of needing to kill the process, but it's definitely worth it.

Conclusion: If you have an iPad, buy it now. [ETA: It is only $3!]

(And if you get it for another platform, tell me how it is!)

Other reviews:

Interview with the devs:

Game site:

[ETA: Awesome recommender: My sweetie Wim, who knows me well enough to be aware that I required this game immediately.]
jinian: (FHL cockles)
1. Honestly I quite enjoy getting a bit eccentric and monologuey in the privacy of my own home. Not sure what the cats think about it.

2. Burrito day and Freakangels.

3. Survey on "phenomenologies of dildo use" was a little frustrating in places, but worth it for that phrase and question 47: "If you have named a dildo, please state the name(s) here."

4. The Pope continues to be great. Weird. (Phone calls and all.)

5. Tasty dinner with sweetie and picking up things I made.


Nov. 6th, 2010 12:22 am
jinian: (birdsquee)
Seattle's weird homemade porn festival turns out to be awesome, if also disturbing in places. We were late due to a bus that didn't come, which Wim later noticed was two cars behind us. No idea what happened. We saw lots of great stuff, though we missed at least one quite good one and a hitting one that I wouldn't have enjoyed. So glad I lucked into these tickets this afternoon!

Some favorites:
  • creatively blocked ad exec has hot gay sex with bike messenger in his office, gets inspired

  • adorably nerdy girl has difficult long-distance romance, expresses herself by documenting fucking someone else in the guy's apartment (words cannot convey how amazing this one turned out)

  • America's Funniest XXX Home Videos, of which I really have no idea how much was remixed from the real show, though a pretty good idea of what definitely wasn't; included wonderful commercial parodies

  • large, white letter A shakes champagne fizz over a tableau of gold-painted hot dogs in buns (really) and a petalled cake

  • nun has kinky outdoor threesome with a homeless guy and her boyfriend Jesus

  • hilarious mostly-needlepoint video for a bouncy, earworming song called "Twincest" [ETA: oh hell yes, the Twincest video is available online]


hey love, I'm an inconstant satellite

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