love breakdown

[jinian]

Wrote most of this in Kidd Valley (with crayons, since my writing utensils have gone missing from my pursething). Trying to figure out part of why comparable intensities of feeling are so distinctly different to me. Feedback welcome.


I get just A much more often about women and B more about men.

And this stuff at least partially explains why "I have a crush" has been a problem in the past -- I've meant A and the other person has heard A/B. Which the partially explaining is one of the things I wanted to do. Yay.

A.
happy bouncy lovingcare
want to touch
want to talk
trust
missing in the sense of: sad if I think about not having contact at all

B.
sexual attraction
some of A must be present (want to touch, trust) in some amount for this to appear

C.
strong desire to keep close long-term
missing in the sense of: feeling off kilter when not nearby (the option of togetherness is more important than the actuality for this feeling)
wishing to see frequently

having interests in common probably causes/strengthens only A

Comments

[elynne.livejournal.com]

Hm. Yes, I grok.

For me, B can happen without A. Sometimes, my hormones have completely different ideas from my brain. This is the basis of the "three month crush" - if I wait three months and it goes away, I know it was purely hormonal.

I have an odd category of crush, I don't know if you get it or if it fits into one of these categories, but it's an - intellectual/artistic crush, I guess is the best way to put it. I have one on a Lioness, and one on Frida Kahlo. Sometimes, some experiences can evoke this feeling - it's almost like physical hunger. Hm.

[jinian.livejournal.com]

I only need a touch of A to get B, but there does seem to be a requirement there so far.

I have a thing that's like hunger, a wanting-more, a breathless thing about exploring. I get it about new relationships, which is almost like getting it about people, and about things to learn. Passionate isn't something I feel often, though.

[marzipan-pig.livejournal.com]

I definitely have different kings of love/crushes but I'm not even sure if I can break them down that well. sometimes it's like 'excited about the idea of the person' or "I feel safe when I'm around them'. sometimes I mean "I want to be their friend" but it doesn't mean i would never consider sleeping with them, jsut that that's not the point. sometiems it's the 'rest of my life" with them thign but even that has different degrees.

[kalmn.livejournal.com]

two things:

first, you gave me an earworm and it will take at least a week for me to forgive you.

second, personally, i only call it a crush if i want to throw someone to the floor and gnaw on their hipbones.

[jinian.livejournal.com]

So do I grovel first or laugh first? Hmm.

[firecat]

Similar to the way it works for me, except that for me A also includes sexual attraction, but a different sort of sexual attraction from B.

"fascination" is also a component of crush for me - more often of a B-type crush.

[jinian.livejournal.com]

I guess I sort of feel like A contains some sexual attraction, but it lives in "want to touch" and the implicit "and see what happens" that follows it. What are your different sorts like?

that want to touch thing

[roobug.livejournal.com]

for me is very much a "want to be kittens together" thing.