thought about the ghosts that we'd left behind

[jinian]

firecat gave me age 25 (2/18/2002-2/18/2003, almost exactly mapping to the year of the Yang Water Horse, in case you were wondering). I like Firecat's then/now sections, so I'm using them. Also, I'm pretty sure that this icon is from right around that time.

I lived in:

Then -- My favorite apartment! It was above a convenience store and across the street from a bar, which sometimes led to interesting late-night noises, but it was also within a block of several good restaurants. Although it was close to the university I now attend, I wasn't in school at all when I lived there.

Now -- A cute, decrepit little house with a great yard, albeit with a giant female holly tree dropping pointy leaves and seedlings all over, and a workshop-shed area. Quiet and peaceful but just too small.

I drove:

Then -- My bike, a lot. This was a great time for bike commuting, although I had recently hurt my knees badly in a fall.

Now -- My feet, occasionally Wim's classic Volvo or a carshare. I'm loving walking to school every day, though my knees remain cranky from that same accident.

I was in a relationship with:

Then -- Wim, for a couple of years already. Looking at old journal entries, I had a crush on some girl but now have no idea who. I was already good friends with m-pig. The thing with N and C was over, but they were still living in my building and kind of my friends; then they disappeared and were not my friends at all.

Now -- Still with Wim. More committed to m-pig as chosen family. A nonspecific, low-contact relationship exists as well.

I feared:

Then -- I don't think I had any intense fears during that time, which may go with feeling stagnant and unchallenged. I worried some about whether I was mistreating my cats. I felt frustrated about not being in school, and angry at my employer (see next item).

Now -- Being alone: I'm still at "moving at an unknown time to an unknown location" so I have no idea how hard it will be to see or make friends. Being trapped. Failure.

I worked at:

Then -- A telecom startup that I'm pretty sure no longer exists, doing phone coordination between customers and telcos. I already knew that wasn't a thing that worked well for me (see 1998) but the promise was that the company would grow quickly and I could do something more technical RSN. Note: When a startup doesn't pay your friend in dollars, do not go to work for them. He got paid in land deeds or something, but, eventually, my paychecks just started bouncing. It was very bad news; my work-friend lost her job for telling them off, and declined and died thereafter. At least that whole horror got me out of dead-end jobs and back into school, just after the end of the year in question.

Now -- I get paid by my university for being a grad student. So far I have learned tons of skills, met useful and interesting people, and Contributed To Human Knowledge. Yay science.

I wanted to be:

Then -- A student taking classes. (The very next year, I did this and was excellent at it.)

Now -- A professor doing research and teaching classes. Maybe someday!


And if you don't want to read all that, did you know that when boats are in dry dock, they move them around using giant fork lifts? I saw it this morning!

Comments

[firecat]

I can't remember, had you been to Wiscon yet?

[jinian]

No, Wiscon 30 was my first, four years later. I don't think I had even heard of it yet! That was a great first one to go to, though: so many great people turned up for the anniversary. Did you make it to that one? (And are you coming this year?)

[firecat]

I went to that one! Alas, not coming this year.