in which I am a pack rat

[jinian]

Cleaning the living room, which was in dire need. Really the whole house is in dire need; I don't know how we thought it was feasible to move to a place with 1/4 the space, even with a quasi-livable outbuilding. I am coming up with some creative storage ideas, but we still have to ditch a LOT more stuff. Or move, which might be easier.

Throwing out:

• Sophomoric (if that?) horror story about confession to a priest who turns out to be a werewolf too. Who wrote this? Wasn't me!
  
• Carefully copied lyrics to 80s glam rock songs (Totally me. *facepalm*)
  
• Early chapters of an epic fantasy novel by first-time-college boyfriend, who was plagued by sharing the name of a really good SF author. This appears to be better than Eragon, but that's not saying much.
  
• Ninja turtles as humans fanfic? I did not remember this. We gave them girlfriends (us) and they went to the mall in the snow. Okay then.
  
• 1992 R.E.M. interview printed from Rolling Stone's newfangled Web Site.
  
• Medical documentation and pricing (steep!) for my Norplant, which I got at age 17.
  
• Tests, answer sheets, and scratch paper from my high school math competitions.
  
• Address, telephone numbers, passport number, and grandmother's name of a guy who scammed me out of cab fare in about 1999.
  
• Small package never sent to my CTY roommate. I have been sad about this since approximately 1993. Keeping the letter but not the bad novel or the envelope.

Keeping:

• Pretty much all correspondence from anyone.
  
• Old journals and list notebooks.
  
• Hand-drawn MARRIAGE LICENSE between ME and the girl I had an enormous crush on at CTY. Holy crap, I have NO memory of this and I WISH I DID. (She had blue hair, went by a dorky-awesome nickname, and occasionally wore a Star Trek uniform. Sigh.) I may frame this.
  
• Ridiculous collaborative line-by-line story from probably AP European class. Sample:
  

  Then he removed his mini skirt revealing / a huge squirrel. Yes, the bastard kept a squirrel in his skirt. Then / he began to lure dogs to his secret lair. He enjoyed them more than he should. / He often spent his off hours making fudge and watches. / He must have no life to make that. Is he Swedish?

  
  
• Many Cricket Cricket papers, at least until I read through them and scan the awesome ones.
  
• Wim's magnetic No-Face mask.

Comments

[katybeth]

Tests, answer sheets, and scratch paper from my high school math competitions.

Guilty.

[jinian.livejournal.com]

Sister!

[katybeth]

Scratch paper, and scantron sheets. (Though, at least, only the final compiled answer book from many of the competitions.)

All now out for recycle. I'm not moving that box again.

[marzipan-pig.livejournal.com]

I think I will never love you more than when I am reading about the marriage license, but then I realize you will probably manage to top this story in every subsequent encounter I have with you. You are so awesome.

Also, this is ALMOST as good as you sitting with me and going through essentially every stray piece of paper in my apartment with me and letting me tell you the story that goes with each of them so that I can throw them away.

What is the cab fare story, and what is CTY (besides a source of awesome?).

[jinian.livejournal.com]

Hee. I don't think it gets better than the marriage license. You can just drop me now, man.

Cab fare story: When I was living with my ex in a tiny studio in the U District, a guy called out to me in a friendly yet pushy way from quite near my apartment building as I was on my way home. He wanted to come into my place and use the phone. Um, NO. He then claimed there was some kind of [English-speaking country] consulate on 45th, so I walked him up (AWAY from my house), and of course the building was closed. He spun this whole story about just needing to get to the airport, where they'd impounded his stuff, and blah blah here's all my info so you can hassle me when I don't pay you back. I didn't really buy this story, but I badly wanted to get rid of him, so I gave him like $50. And he left, yay.

CTY (http://www.cty.jhu.edu/) runs summer programs for brainy teens. I went at 16, the oldest you can be, because we finally had enough money and I pushed for it. I did not get to take etymology, because everyone wanted to, but world geopolitics was really something. I also found and threw out a bunch of notes from history and simulations of inter-country relations we did. The part I remember best is when I was playing as King Hussein of Jordan and got assassinated! It was maybe somewhat like your Diplomacy game?

[jinian.livejournal.com]

Oh, and note that SHE SIGNED the marriage license and there was some kind of officiant, it's not just something I made myself. I really, really wish I remembered this!

[marzipan-pig.livejournal.com]

Wait, so you're STILL MARRIED to her?

You know, this is the kind of situation Facebook is MADE for.

[jinian.livejournal.com]

Well, I am pretty sure it was legal in none of her home state, my home state, or California where we signed it, but YES we are STILL MARRIED. Wim tried to call me a bigamist, but failed to produce any evidence of later marriages. :)

I may succumb eventually, be patient.

[baratron.livejournal.com]

Hang on, she signed the license? Doesn't that mean she was gay (or at least bi)? And if she was gay or bi, how come you only had a massive crush on her and not a proper teenage romance?

[jinian.livejournal.com]

I am not actually irresistible, you know. :) And we were only in the same place for three weeks.

[baratron.livejournal.com]

Ninja turtles as humans fanfic? I did not remember this. We gave them girlfriends (us) and they went to the mall in the snow. Okay then.

No, no, no, you must not throw this away! You must post it online (with the caveat that you wrote it in 1990-whatever when you were however old) for people like weepingcock or Topless Robot's FanFiction Friday to snark!

Early chapters of an epic fantasy novel by first-time-college boyfriend, who was plagued by sharing the name of a really good SF author.

Any chance of him ever becoming famous? If so, keep and use for blackmail. If not, bin.

Hand-drawn MARRIAGE LICENSE between ME and the girl I had an enormous crush on at CTY.

*dead of cute*

[jinian.livejournal.com]

weepingcock would have no interest, as we did not even really write about any kissing. (Heavily implied, I admit.) Sadly, it's just boring-bad rather than entertaining-bad.

I haven't seen any sign of fame yet, but one assumes he would use a pseudonym given the name issue. The world may never know.