all your dicks in a row

[jinian]

Headline today: Dicks suddenly in line to lead powerful panel

I had two main interpretations:

(1) An unintentionally hilarious visual. Really, the paper needs to keep a twelve-year-old on staff to determine whether at least the front-page above-fold headlines pass the snicker test. (It had been hastily changed by the time I looked at their web site.)

And (2), a little more figuratively, an illustration of patriarchy as usual. In actuality, of course, it referred to local politician Norm Dicks.

It reminded me of another recent instance of patriarchy as usual that also involved Dick's. I hesitated to post about this one, because I wasn't sure I could convey the menace through the funny, and it's definitely funny. But I'll give it a try.


A couple of weeks ago, I was walking home in the dark, about eight blocks through my safe neighborhood. I had my reflector/LED band on my backpack turned on for visibility, as usual. A car pulled up beside me and a guy maybe 18-20, alone in the vaguely retro car, called out, "Hey, can you tell me how to find Dick's?"

I told him. It's easy, just turn around and go up to 45th, then turn right. I kept walking. He started to drive off, then braked again.

He called, "Can you take a look at my pen?"

What? I tried to parse this as some kind of car part that I could feasibly see, but failed. "What?"

"Can you take a look at my pen?"

"What?"

"Can you look at my pin?"

This was really annoying. What was he on about? He was acting erratic and I know better than to get close to someone in a car, so I took about two steps closer. "What?"

"Could you take a look at my penis?"

Right. Suspicion confirmed. "No," I said evenly and resumed walking.

"Can you just see if it's all right?"

You know l'esprit de l'escalier? There is also l'esprit de "it would be a bad idea to engage." Smart remarks flooded into my mind, but I was not about to use them. (I will share my favorite, though, which was "you need a professional for that," leaving nicely open what kind of professional.) I said "no" again and kept walking, maintaining a careful awareness of his actions, and he drove off.

I made it home without further incident, promptly told the funny to hattifattener, and tried to settle down.

The really hilarious part only occurred to me later: Was it just his bad luck to wind up in a neighborhood where there really was a drive-in called Dick's within ten blocks? Maybe the whole thing was supposed to go horribly wrong a lot sooner.


So here's what I was not: Young. Dressed in sexualized, or even really gendered, clothing. In any kind of social situation. And it still happened, and it was still threatening even through the humor. FYI.

Comments

[jinian.livejournal.com]

Ah, but I carefully phrased it as I remember it being said: how to find dicks. Ambiguous.

I think the only way looking at his anything makes sense is if I was supposed to come closer, and who knows what the fuck would have happened then. "Safe neighborhood" only goes so far, it's not like the ants are going to come boiling out of the acacia thorns if he manages to overpower me.

Here's something I thought was interesting: I had the same kind of fear that I did about the guy watching porn videos on the library computer that time, the "if he's willing to do that, what else might he do?" thing. And, of course, that exact fear is the foundation of a lot of intolerance. If you don't LOVE JESUS BESTEST, if you're willing to HAVE THE GAY SEX, who knows what else you might value or do, right?

[jinian.livejournal.com]

how to find dicks

i.e., MIND MY OWN BUSINESS until some pervy high-schooler happens by to offer me one? Yeah, I really don't know.

[beaq.livejournal.com]

Alas that aggression against weaker creatures and people does predict a likelihood of greater violence later, whereas gay seks not so much.

[marzipan-pig.livejournal.com]

I don't know about the 'what ELSE might he do' though - loving jesus and/or the gay sex are different from hassling someone. The porn thing is weird b/c we assume libraries aren't an appropriate place to get off sexually, and we assume men ARE becoming aroused by it (and mostly we think of arousal as affecting someone's interactions with others) - if the guy were clearly writing a paper about images in porn or something I think I'd feel differently.