and I thought I was racially marked before

It is definitely really weird to have people feel up your hair. Awkward, laughing, freaking out -- it could easily have shaded into bullying. Even if it's one person* whom you like, and even if you're weirdly positioned in the conversation as having the socially-better hair texture. (Is it actually true that some people's hair is so strong it can poke into their skin, or were they messing with me? I kept the terminology at "strong" rather than anything less positive, because wow was that fraught.) She says she wants her hair to be so soft, too. I pointed out that it mostly correlates with color and that stronger hair doesn't break all the time, but she was not dissuaded. I settled on, "I'm sorry, I can't help you," which at least made everyone laugh.

(It was also very strange to be touched at all; I want that a lot right now, actually, but perhaps not in a disturbing, charged context, okay?)

I keep thinking that more white Americans should experience this racial-minority thing, but I'm still creepily advantaged, there's no escaping it. Besides, I don't think the jingoists I grew up around would react to it by understanding the overall dynamic, interpreting it for their situation, or gaining that much empathy.

* Only one woman in the room at the time; the men had more sense or reserve for whatever reason than to try it. I am not ruling out the possibility that I may be mobbed by female labmates at some future time.

somehow we win

We passed it. Solidly. Same-sex marriage is a go in Washington State, by popular vote.

So fucking proud right now.