Good deed for the day &c.

The good deed so far is: helping birdies achieve kielbasa. (It was wrapped in plastic, and the crows were having pretty good success with it, but after I took off the wrapper everybird could eat. Yay me. Heh.)

Last night I learned that my weird impulse to spend time with lots of people instead of trying to become less wired by myself was the right one. Good to know that the antidote to too many customers is too many friends. :) Spending a good bit of the evening at Squeeky Hollow definitely tired me out, and it was fun too. Better proof of my introversion couldn't be asked for, I think.

This morning I learned that the antidote is temporary. I woke up with my mind racing again.

For those of you about to recommend psychiatric meds or anything, thanks, but I only get like this when my yin is all fucked up. :) The good news is that I have an appointment with my acupuncturist next Tuesday, which is amazingly soon for her to have been able to fit me in. The bad news is that 'til Tuesday is a very long time to wait through mental static, hot flashes, and improper sleep cycles.

Me me me me me!

I am, I am, I am. Listen to me, pay attention to me, think of me. Don't just let me be a conduit doing the little things I'm told to do, someone to yell at, and nothing more. There's a person here. I fancy she's a pretty good one, even.

I want to just lie in bed and be petted all day. People can take it in shifts, or something. :)

Bah. I almost cried when a customer yelled at me earlier today, because I understand and there's nothing I can do, and he doesn't care whether I understand. But that's all I've got for him.

I want this to be over. I am kind of disappointed that the company is not going away, because I don't just want to leave, I want this not to exist. It is too hard to pull out of this pit we're in.

I'm Kylee. Really.

There's no reason for them to care about that, though.

*sigh* And self-mockery is working so well at keeping me going, but it's not good for me. I need the harpies to go away soon. I am not going to cry at work, though.

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Minor improvement at work. Helps a little.

I want to be screaming in excitement over something having nothing to do with work right now, though. From the top of a building or the back seat of a convertible, ideally. Or maybe the steeple of the church I can see from home and work both.

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Oh, I feel soooo much better. The thing at work is getting resolved, though not in haste or anything, so that's a little bit better than it was. What really helped has been coming home. That needed a period. Now I shall continue the list. Taking a bath listening to Bax's Soup 2k mix cd, playing in the water (I need boats, though), petting cats, putting on lotion that offends cats, and generally heaving a sigh of relief. I still need my shoulders rubbed, but Wim is coming over in a very short while, and he is good for those things.
Dinner soon, and perhaps the last episode of Cowboy Bebop. And I don't have to go to work tomorrow if I really don't wanna.