(no subject)
Jan. 6th, 2002 08:28 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
jinianI keep dreaming of one of my high school friends. I've known him since we were in fourth grade, and the only way I see him now is in dreams. (Even then, he is just walking by, too far away to reach through the crowd, or he deliberately snubs me.) I know what he was doing a few years ago; there was that fire in Bremerton, and he was the last one to get out of his building. Some people died, but he wasn't one of them. He was living with someone. Email happened a little then.
But I haven't talked to him or found him on the web since then. The email address I have is apparently not current; I don't think he would've failed to answer so many pings for so long, flaky though he is (as I am).
I wish I knew why it was so important to me to find him. I guess I still love him. Stupid common names that Google finds a million of. I subjected myself to eternal spam by signing up at classmates.com so I could find this person, but he has more sense than to be there. Well, I knew that, but I had to try. I miss you, Kevin. And I say so in my journal, where I don't ever use my full name and I've asked search engines not to find me.
But I haven't talked to him or found him on the web since then. The email address I have is apparently not current; I don't think he would've failed to answer so many pings for so long, flaky though he is (as I am).
I wish I knew why it was so important to me to find him. I guess I still love him. Stupid common names that Google finds a million of. I subjected myself to eternal spam by signing up at classmates.com so I could find this person, but he has more sense than to be there. Well, I knew that, but I had to try. I miss you, Kevin. And I say so in my journal, where I don't ever use my full name and I've asked search engines not to find me.
