(no subject)

[jinian]

There's a spastic Christmas tree on the low divider outside my office door. Its color-changing fiber-optics alternate between twinkling madly and slow fades. Every now and then they stop for long enough that I breathe a sigh of relief, thinking that the gods have blessed me with surcease, and then the lights begin to stutter into their regular pattern and I know that I am cursed.

That's just what I can see from my desk. If I dare to emerge from my jungle haven, I am confronted not just with the almost tasteful garlands of fake evergreen and pine cones, but with reindeer crafted to match the same fake evergreen, with little golden antlers. I am dreading having to leave today; it will mean going through the reception area, where there is a small three-car wooden train marked the "Christmas Express" and taking a tiny teddy bear I know not where. Possibly out of Christmas Hell, but probably deeper in.

Have we no self-respect? I was going to put some green lights (non-seizure-inducing style) on my big jade plant this year, but I'm not so sure now. Silliness loses its appeal in the face of those completely unaware of their kitsch. When they said "fiber-optic trees" I had honestly pictured something only slightly tacky, not these abominations with attached plastic balls on the ends of the branches, and not half a dozen of them. Maybe I can have the aesthetic centers of my brain removed and cryogenically frozen for replacement in January.

I sense that December will be a month in which I have my door closed a lot.

Comments

[marzipan-pig.livejournal.com]

could you perhaps RESCUE the little reindeer and the tiny bear and re release them in a more naturalistic environment?

I am so sorry. my work isn't very organized and I am unlikely to have to grapple with anything as hideous as blinky and solid lights at once.