lampworking

[jinian]

Lampworking class seriously sucked today. As I wept at the bus stop on the way home, I told Wim, "It's like falling in love with someone you've never met, and then meeting them and discovering there's no chemistry and their family is evil." I cried three times today and stifled it a few more. Granted, I am on the rag, but stuff has to be bad for me to cry that much.

I was clumsy, so that much of it is my fault. I've heard that some people gets clumsiness with PMS, and I don't usually have such a bad time with these things, so maybe I can blame my hormones. Yay, none of it is my fault. *sigh*

The first thing the teacher did that annoyed me was to shirk on telling us the safety procedures. We were expected to sign a release saying we'd read a handbook; the handbook never showed up, but he did read to us from a photocopied sheet very briefly after we were supposed to have signed and handed in out release forms. I refused. I was the only one to do so. After I'd heard the crummy safety walkthrough, I annotated my form to say that the policies had been verbally reviewed and signed it.

The second thing was that he did nothing for the first hour of the class but have us watch him sculpting a glass cat. Okay, I'm satisfied, you know how to do this. You've also proven that you do not know how to teach.

And after that, he basically turned us loose. There was only a rudimentary explanation of how to do things, but that didn't stop most of the people in the class; they all had prior glass experience. I floundered. I didn't have any ideas. I hadn't been expecting free work time, I wanted a class. Show us how to execute techniques, have us do projects and tell us how we're coming along, what we can do better, effective ways to set up the work area.

I spent quite some time waiting for class to be over.

It was easier to try before the first time I burned myself, which was also the first time I cried.

It is really hard to be the dumb one. Was I not nice enough to people in school who didn't get things? I hope I was always nice enough. Not that it would have mattered, because I still can't convince myself that Barb was really being nice and not laughing at me inside. I can't imagine having to go to school every day and feeling like I felt today. I kept going, but I don't think I would have the strength to do it for long. I might not go back tomorrow. I have never been so glad that I was good at school.

I thought I was going to love lampworking. I can still see that I would love it if I were being taught the way that I need to be taught. When I came back from icing my thumb and two of the other girls were making leaves like I'd been wanting to and not figuring out how to, I nearly cried again.

Oh, it was miserable. I can't even write about it. I got burned three times, none of which were really my fault. Who knew that any glass within a foot of the torch sucks up heat for the express purpose of crisping flesh? Probably the "instructor" did, huh? And once a shard of hot glass came from nowhere and flew down my shirt sleeve. I accidentally opened that blister rubbing it against the chair arm while typing a post to alt.poly. No one else got burned even once. Damn it all.

And at 5:00, half an hour before it was time to go, the bastard teacher (whom I don't even really dislike, he's just fucking inept and the results are awful) finally did what I'd wanted him to do. He assigned me a task: to make two hands before quitting time. So I did. I struggled a little with the first one, which I made as a fist; it wasn't proportioned quite right, but I liked it and its blotches of blue. The second one was hard for me too, and the fingers stuck together a little, but the proportions were just right and it looked good.

He never even looked at them.

Okay, self-pity girl is done for now. I have no idea whether I will go to the class tomorrow; I am doing a little better, and I know what to expect, but it's not a good class for me and I might be clumsy tomorrow, too. We'll see. I can always flee partway through.

Comments

[marzipan-pig.livejournal.com]

oh bun! so sorry to hear!

I think you are a BRAVE EXPLORER and that YES going tomorrow would be good, you can always leave!

I always have to have people help me in crafts classes, as a kid and as an adult, and in my soap making class I was the ONLY one who had some kind of respiratory reaction (it felt like I was going to DIE, it was horrible, I honestly thought I was going to have to call 911 myself) to the lye saponifying, and AFTER I had to kind of hang out the window and gasp for a bit the teacher announced to the class that some people have a problem with the fumes so be careful and all.

when I make soap myself, I do that step outside and be careful not to get too close, which would have worked fine that FIRST time too.

lamps are good! you can do it! poor instruction isn't insurmountable! snout girl gives a pep talk!

Bad instructors suck

[rjl20.livejournal.com]

Man, I'm so sorry to hear that; a bad instructor can really ruin an experience. If this is something you think you'd still be interested in otherwise, maybe you can complain to whoever's in charge and ask for your money back until they get a new instructor? If he's not doing anything but supervising unstructured free time, I don't think you should have to pay for anything except materials. (Of course, I like to think that the world is more often fair than not. This isn't necessarily the case.)

[jenett]

Oh, ouch.

Seriously, a bad teacher does *not* mean that you're worthless (and that sounds like bad teaching worse than my French teachers, which is saying quite a bit.)

Where's this thing being taught? If it's a broader school or building, I suspect they'd be quite interested in the fact that safety procedures weren't gone over (and *demonstrated*, too. Sensible teachers know that demonstrating stuff makes people more likely to recall it than just rushing through it verbally) for insurance purposes, if nothing else.

One other thing might be to ask someone who's had more experience (and who looks like they might be sympathetic) if they can give you a few hints. (Good karma from helping other people out has to come back somehow, right?) Or even if you can just watch what they're doing for a few minutes, to see if you can get the knack.

Talking honestly to the instructor might also help, and saying upfront "I'd expected this to involve more instruction. I've never worked with this before, and I was expecting this to have more specific tasks so that I could learn skills." (Though maybe you did that?)

Anyway, hugs and sympathy, and I hope todays class went better, and that you get something out of it, at least.

[elynne.livejournal.com]

Oh my Goddess, Kylee, that's awful. That's worse than my sucky painting teacher. In some ways, I feel personally offended, and I really wish I could point you to my aunt for instruction - she's been teaching lampworking classes at Corning University and other workshops all around the country, but her classes are expensive and generally in other states, so that's not much of an answer.

I know you can do it. I know that you just need to know how to do it - and that's what that spit "teacher" is supposed to be helping you with. Having a crap instructor is most certainly not your fault. I'd seriously consider asking for my money back; you could probably get it just on the safety considerations alone - you were never given the handout-booklet-thing, and you could say that as a direct consequence, you burned yourself a couple of times. I would think that'd be enough to get you refunded the second session.

Where is this class? The last time I went to Fusion, their lampworking equipment was all gone, and there weren't any lampworking classes listed in their brochure. Let me know where this class is so I can avoid it, if I'm ever in the market for taking a lampworking class. :P

I'm sorry, Kylee. hug

Pre-Seeble Note

[firecat]

I'm going to a lampworking class next weekend at <http://www.publicglass.org>Public Glass; I know almost nothing about the school (although I watched a demo there last weekend) or the instructor, and although I've read a lot about lampworking and other kinds of glass working I have never touched hot glass, and I more or less expect to be the oldest and least experienced in glassworking person there.

So I'll probably be seebling you in some fashion next weekend. Thanks for warning me to stock up on ice. I hope your next class goes better.

Re: Bad instructors suck

[jinian.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I kinda feel like I want a refund, but at the same time the class was clearly working all right for most people. I probably would at least try for a refund if it wasn't pratt.org, but I think they need the money. They will definitely Hear About This, though.

[jinian.livejournal.com]

I could have made it better by doing some of those things, but I was just too disheartnened by the way things started off badly and got worse. Lemony Snicket has nothing on that class. :)

And they will definitely be hearing about the lack of respect for safety. I don't think the evaluation sheet they gave me is going to be large enough, but I can attach sheets.

[jinian.livejournal.com]

It was at Pratt Fine Arts. I think they're a good organization, just don't take classes from that instructor. I really do need practice, it's not that I can really do it right now. :) Coincidentally (heh), practice is precisely what I would have gotten out of a properly conducted class. 'Magine that.

Re: Pre-Seeble Note

[jinian.livejournal.com]

I really doubt that very many classes are as bad as this one. I put a disclaimer on the first version of that post saying so, actually, but it got lost when I was cut off. I will be thinking of you and your glass next weekend. It would have been useful to me to know that I might have to ask questions and that there are different kinds of glass (so if I'm not doing well with one it doesn't mean I'm hopeless). Good luck.

And my burns are just fine now. :) They mostly only hurt the day they happened. Good reflexes, I suppose.