jinian | happy sex day (Reply)

I wrote this in July 1999 for the Drizzle Salon (BBS) first-time sex item. Maybe not so oddly, I had been promising to tell people there the story for a while too. Here it is,
roobug. Happy Earth Day.
I was seventeen and a senior in high school. I'd made a choice between
 dating my best friend and dating her ex-boyfriend, and picked the boy,
 mostly by default -- a choice I would curse in retrospect. But he was
 sweet and gentle and idealistic, and he cared about words. And I loved
 him, a bit.
 
 A pair of life-sized plastic cherry earrings hung from my car's rear-view
 mirror for a while that year; for some reason, I thought this was a witty
 joke that not everyone in the world would get. There had been a friend-
 with-fringe-benefits, exclusively for the purpose of sexual experiment-
 ation, but we'd stopped short of intercourse. We'd messed about with
 everything else, though, and I must say that having someone go down on you
 in a car, even my lovely bench-seated Chevy Nova, is not worth the effort.
 
 So I kidnapped my boy one sunny Sunday afternoon, and we drove over to my
 parents' log cabin in Quilcene. I'd taken the cherries down from the
 mirror. I think he noticed. We stopped at the mini-mart in Quilcene to get
 ice cream, and, in a feat of legerdemain, I slipped the cherries into his
 hand. He got big-eyed and said, "Really?" I nodded. He went in to buy
 condoms while I dithered over ice cream cones.
 
 We proceeded to the cabin. I spread a blanket over the wooden floor
 upstairs, and we lazed about in a warm room full of sunbeams and glowing,
 clean pine walls. It was the first time I'd seen him totally naked, and it
 was almost embarrassingly magical. He was large and stocky, with light
 olive skin and dark hair curling everywhere it ought to. He looked like a
 Greek god, like Pan, right down to the gorgeous... and intimidatingly
 large... penis. He seemed favorably impressed by me, too, though I was too
 thin that year.
 
 (Bear with me. This is a plot-related penis.)
 
 We explored each other dreamily and slowly, and eventually we noticed that
 our beautiful lambent room was becoming less yellow at an alarming rate.
 Oops. We were supposed to be home by sunset. Shit. We freaked out to the
 appropriate degree, got dressed, and drove home. He tried to give the
 earrings back, but I let him keep the symbol, even if we'd missed out on
 the experience.
 
 I got bitched out. He got grounded.
 
 We were determined not to be cheated of our rightful glory as horny
 adolescents, so we sneaked out the next night. In a downpour. A cold,
 miserable downpour. We sat in my car behind the veterinarian's office in
 Poulsbo and tried to decide where to go. I already knew that enjoying
 oneself in a car is not easy, so that was right out. The cabin was too far
 to get there and back before someone noticed we were gone. He said, "Well,
 short of spreading you over the roof of your car right here in the rain, I
 have no idea." I thought that had potential, but he wasn't serious. He was
 despairing (never very resilient, that boy), but I refused to give up. I
 drove to a park and, bearing a candle, led him through dripping, misty
 woods to... a picnic bench.
 
 Well, we gave it our best shot. This time, the surroundings were against
 us, but we did have a blanket, and really it was kind of sweet and
 romantic, even though we were kind of in a hurry, since we were freezing
 our asses off. We figured we were ready. I put the condom on for him. He
 tried to penetrate. No go. Tried again. Still no progress. Now remember,
 he was very large, and I wasn't having that much fun. This was
 goal-oriented making out. Now, the wince-worthy part: I was very tired...
 and stressed... I laughed. It was an inappropriate reaction and I knew it
 and I laughed. Couldn't help it. He wilted like a candy bar in the
 microwave. I actually coaxed him into making another try, after quickly
 controlling myself and apologizing enormously. Still, nothing. 
 
 Woe was us. We knew not of lube.
 We said to hell with it and went home.
 
 We'd pretty much given up on having sex in any deliberate fashion after
 that. But we were making out mostly naked in his room one day after
 school, when neither of his parents had come home yet, and I just felt
 really good about the whole experience. In fact, I was turned on. In fact,
 I wanted to try that sex thing again. So I grabbed a condom (he said
 apprehensively, "is this a good idea?") and put it on him and tried to
 have my way with him. Didn't work very well, but it almost worked. I put a
 little of my weight behind it and sat down hard, and felt a distinct pop.
 It didn't hurt, it just felt like something giving way. We were ecstatic,
 if only because we hadn't been thwarted this time!
 
 Then the downstairs door opened. His stepdad came in from work and started
 calling for him. Oh, SHIT. We set the world record for speed dressing. We
 walked downstairs; I tiptoed in step with him. He distracted his stepdad
 and I bailed, out the window and onto the porch, then off the porch and
 down the hill, to walk casually around the block and to my car.
 
 So that's the first time that I count as the first. 
 I lost my virginity on Earth Day.