toward a tourist-tat taxonomy

Today's trip for international students was to Nara. I realize I went to Nara on Monday. That's kind of why I went today, actually. I'd been to NAIST (the science university) twice and seen none of Nara proper. Now, having educated myself, I am here to tell you that Nara Park is one of the world's biggest tourist traps. Thus, I have newly minted categories of tourist tat to share with all of you.

1. Can be safely ignored

The vast majority of things fall into this category. In Japan there is a huge market for swanky foods to bring back from wherever you've been to share with your family and colleagues, and generally once you've fulfilled this obligation you need look no further in that vein. Also, Hello Kitty dressed up as a thing is only worth a glance for the most part, and thus are most of the rest of the little gifts disposed of.

2. Kind of amazing and should be photographed to share with others

For instance, this tanuki with bells for testicles.



3. Horrifying and absolutely must be photographed to share with others

For instance, the patron of the Ueno rest stop, Cat Ninja Lady. There was a whole lot of ninja merchandise inside, but the giant plastic Cat Ninja Lady under whom you must pass to enter was the most amazing and awful thing.



4. Striking a personal weakness

THIS IS BREAD WHICH IS ALSO TOTORO



He contained chocolate pudding! And the white dough was an overlay, his main structure was the brown dough. (No I did not make a Y-incision to dissect him, I didn't have a knife, I ate him like a chocolate bunny ears-first thank you very much.)

I am also now a proud owner of Kiki's Delivery Service toe socks.

5. Too insane not to buy

For those of you who are not currently inundated by his merchandise at every turn, this is Tony Tony Chopper from the still incredibly popular manga One Piece. (He has taken on his own life as Chopperman; I think that is solely a merchandising deal.) Tony Tony Chopper is a reindeer, or caribou.



Now, in Nara, everything is about the deer. There is a good reason for this; the deer in Nara Park will mob you if you are so foolish as to buy deer food, and sometimes if you don't. I saw a deer bite a man's ass today. (They tried to stare me down for a Kit Kat, but I told them off. I think it was my imagination that they understood Japanese better than English.) Schoolchildren squealed fearfully as they tried to elude the deer. Obviously, these terrorist deer are therefore marketed as adorable, or occasionally nobly scenic, on just about every single item in Nara.



So, getting back to Tony Tony Chopper, this is a Tony Tony Chopper souvenir from Nara.

Therefore, the deer is dressed up... as a deer.

You see how I had to buy this thing.