I am in love
Aug. 4th, 2002 12:06 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
jinianNot with my instructor (I'm bringing home a baby bumblebee), though he has a certain Bellingham indie-rock-boy charm to be sure, but with the Byzantine chainwork I learned today. Mmmm, beautiful chainwork. It is lovely stuff. This was so much better than the last class I took to learn how to do something I wanted to do.
It was a little uncomfortable being the quickest in the class to catch on, especially since I wasn't having a good coordination day. (I got to choose between all fumble-fingered with migraine ick or shaky with caffeine.) I hated being the slowest when it was lampworking, but I really think I would've minded less if the teacher hadn't been the worst ever. On the whole, I think it would have been nice to be in the middle, though. I was apologizing for being too fast, others were apologizing for being too slow. Class full of women who have been conditioned not to stand out, blech. But, you know, it was nice.
Detected sexism in self:
Dressed for an audience of other women. (I didn't realize I knew how to do this. It was kind of creepy.)
Never even considered that a man might be taking the class even though one was the instructor. (I was right, but still. And why should I think about it anyway?)
Let the compulsive answer syndrome out to play a lot more than usual. This might have been due to my getting it quickly, but I still feel like I assumed a leadership role in a weird way. (Gendered? I dunno.)
Knew it was still the right self, though:
Became annoyed when "my ring" was used repeatedly and only meant "wedding ring" in context.
Went glowy when clever tools were used.
Brought cherries for everyone.
Had trouble getting a word in edgewise several times before kind of catching on to the conversational-pause consensus.
Went to Fred Meyer afterwards, completely forgot to look for what I was there to get, and came out with a bunch of plants I had a really interesting time getting home with my bike.
It was a little uncomfortable being the quickest in the class to catch on, especially since I wasn't having a good coordination day. (I got to choose between all fumble-fingered with migraine ick or shaky with caffeine.) I hated being the slowest when it was lampworking, but I really think I would've minded less if the teacher hadn't been the worst ever. On the whole, I think it would have been nice to be in the middle, though. I was apologizing for being too fast, others were apologizing for being too slow. Class full of women who have been conditioned not to stand out, blech. But, you know, it was nice.
Detected sexism in self:
Dressed for an audience of other women. (I didn't realize I knew how to do this. It was kind of creepy.)
Never even considered that a man might be taking the class even though one was the instructor. (I was right, but still. And why should I think about it anyway?)
Let the compulsive answer syndrome out to play a lot more than usual. This might have been due to my getting it quickly, but I still feel like I assumed a leadership role in a weird way. (Gendered? I dunno.)
Knew it was still the right self, though:
Became annoyed when "my ring" was used repeatedly and only meant "wedding ring" in context.
Went glowy when clever tools were used.
Brought cherries for everyone.
Had trouble getting a word in edgewise several times before kind of catching on to the conversational-pause consensus.
Went to Fred Meyer afterwards, completely forgot to look for what I was there to get, and came out with a bunch of plants I had a really interesting time getting home with my bike.
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no subject
Date: 2002-08-04 12:49 am (UTC)[...]
Let the compulsive answer syndrome out to play a lot more than usual. This might have been due to my getting it quickly, but I still feel like I assumed a leadership role in a weird way. (Gendered? I dunno.)
How is that sexism, do you figure?
no subject
Date: 2002-08-04 12:57 am (UTC)Well, because they were girls and that meant they needed it, or would not object, or wanted it. Mixed-sex groups don't get that reaction from me, even if I'm head of the class, so it felt like a weird sexist reaction.