all your dicks in a row

[jinian]

Headline today: Dicks suddenly in line to lead powerful panel

I had two main interpretations:

(1) An unintentionally hilarious visual. Really, the paper needs to keep a twelve-year-old on staff to determine whether at least the front-page above-fold headlines pass the snicker test. (It had been hastily changed by the time I looked at their web site.)

And (2), a little more figuratively, an illustration of patriarchy as usual. In actuality, of course, it referred to local politician Norm Dicks.

It reminded me of another recent instance of patriarchy as usual that also involved Dick's. I hesitated to post about this one, because I wasn't sure I could convey the menace through the funny, and it's definitely funny. But I'll give it a try.


A couple of weeks ago, I was walking home in the dark, about eight blocks through my safe neighborhood. I had my reflector/LED band on my backpack turned on for visibility, as usual. A car pulled up beside me and a guy maybe 18-20, alone in the vaguely retro car, called out, "Hey, can you tell me how to find Dick's?"

I told him. It's easy, just turn around and go up to 45th, then turn right. I kept walking. He started to drive off, then braked again.

He called, "Can you take a look at my pen?"

What? I tried to parse this as some kind of car part that I could feasibly see, but failed. "What?"

"Can you take a look at my pen?"

"What?"

"Can you look at my pin?"

This was really annoying. What was he on about? He was acting erratic and I know better than to get close to someone in a car, so I took about two steps closer. "What?"

"Could you take a look at my penis?"

Right. Suspicion confirmed. "No," I said evenly and resumed walking.

"Can you just see if it's all right?"

You know l'esprit de l'escalier? There is also l'esprit de "it would be a bad idea to engage." Smart remarks flooded into my mind, but I was not about to use them. (I will share my favorite, though, which was "you need a professional for that," leaving nicely open what kind of professional.) I said "no" again and kept walking, maintaining a careful awareness of his actions, and he drove off.

I made it home without further incident, promptly told the funny to hattifattener, and tried to settle down.

The really hilarious part only occurred to me later: Was it just his bad luck to wind up in a neighborhood where there really was a drive-in called Dick's within ten blocks? Maybe the whole thing was supposed to go horribly wrong a lot sooner.


So here's what I was not: Young. Dressed in sexualized, or even really gendered, clothing. In any kind of social situation. And it still happened, and it was still threatening even through the humor. FYI.

Comments

[marzipan-pig.livejournal.com]

I saw that headline too and chose not to read it out loud.

"Tell me how to get to dick's" doesn't even really make any sense though, wheras him wanting you to look at his penis almost does. Except who would, I mean, the whole thing is such a crazy creepy setup.

I haven't had that level of awful/threat/stupid in a long time, though (of course) there's always the threat of the more constant low-level stuff and then the background noise that I can mostly tune out with effort (until something happens and then it's all right there again).

[papersky.livejournal.com]

You know how there are people who get turned on by hearing or saying "dirty" things? I think there are some people who get turned on by that only if it's non-consensual, if they've tricked the woman into saying "dick" or whatever. You know how little kids do that "you said x" thing? Like that, only worse.

I developed this theory after a particular obscene phone call a friend of mine got and she was trying to get her head around, and your guy would seem to fit the pattern.

It's funny, how can it do any harm, except that it does.

It's icky because it's a violation of the ordinary common space between strangers in which we ask and give directions. You'll have that in your mind the next time somebody slows down to ask the way to the library or their grandma's house, how could you not? And that poisons the interaction.

[rachelmanija.livejournal.com]

It's too bad you can't emasculate with your brain.

[baratron.livejournal.com]

The incident with the guy in the car is really quite alarming.

I am sad that you had to go through it, but part of me is glad that if it had to happen, it happened at this stage of your life where you're mature and sorted enough to deal with it, rather than, say 10 or 15 years ago. Not that I know what you were like 15 years ago, but I know my own reaction to such an incident would be rather different now than it would have been when I was 18-20. If that makes sense?

Hope you're feeling okay now, anyway.