jinian: (lost sakura)
[personal profile] jinian
After two months I expected to feel better rather than more traumatized. Nope. It's worse than when Dad died -- I lost him and was very upset that he wasn't in the world any more, but I knew about death and realized it was going to happen even if I hadn't felt the loss yet. To an extent I support the existence of death: it's needed for change, evolution, progress, for life really. The thing that happened between me and L is not a thing that should exist. I'm unlikely to ever not feel that the world is now a more terrible place.

I need a very considerate lover to take me to bed a lot, and I need to have nothing to do with humans for approximately a year. Since these are mutually exclusive as well as individually infeasible, I am stumbling along trying to enjoy friends, pottery, work, reading, and games, and just coping with the part where I'm scared to go to the damn grocery store.

Date: 2016-02-24 03:15 am (UTC)
heavenscalyx: (Default)
From: [personal profile] heavenscalyx
I'm so sorry. That sucks. :(

Date: 2016-02-24 04:00 pm (UTC)
heavenscalyx: (Default)
From: [personal profile] heavenscalyx
Sometimes one gets so invested in "fake it til you make it" that it's hard to turn off. And you had a super crappy 2015, so it's no surprise that you've hit a wall of grief.

Date: 2016-02-24 03:19 am (UTC)
kalmn: (kill kill)
From: [personal profile] kalmn
Oh honey. I'm sorry.

When in a somewhat similar set of feelings, grocery delivery was amazing. They would come dump big green boxes on my steps, I would wait until they had gone and sneak out and get my food.

Date: 2016-02-24 05:50 am (UTC)
umadoshi: (kittens - Claudia - pensive)
From: [personal profile] umadoshi
I'm sorry things are so awful right now. ;_;

Date: 2016-02-24 02:35 pm (UTC)
genarti: Two cats sitting under a propped-up umbrella on a fence or porch in the rain. ([misc] shelter from the storm)
From: [personal profile] genarti
Oh, friend, I'm so sorry.

Date: 2016-02-24 04:43 pm (UTC)
were_duck: Ellen Ripley from Alien looking pensively to the right in her space helmet (Default)
From: [personal profile] were_duck
I'm so so so sorry. Wishing you healing and that you can keep doing what you're doing :(

Date: 2016-02-24 09:03 pm (UTC)
boxofdelights: (Default)
From: [personal profile] boxofdelights
Oh, honey. I'm so sorry. You deserve so much better.

Date: 2016-02-25 05:24 pm (UTC)
ursula: (Default)
From: [personal profile] ursula
:(

Date: 2016-02-29 02:14 am (UTC)
ursula: (Default)
From: [personal profile] ursula
I read this while unexpectedly stuck overnight in Phoenix, and was mentally sending you sunrise over the mountains.

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hey love, I'm an inconstant satellite

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